The Dark Side of Self-actualization
When we need, want and/or wish to change1) something in our life - which we all - and we find that the time we have to spend on and the effort that we put into our are pretty frustrating, quite difficult and find that the result or outcome of our efforts are largely disappointing, it is quite that we were lured into and mainly functions in the shady realm of the dark side of self-actualization.
This transpires because of a deep-seated and belief that there is something wrong with us and we are, therefore, obliged to either repair or fix it. Often we ain't consciously aware of such a belief, but it is there, and it affects us in everything that we do and attempts to do. It is a painful belief2). Fortunately though, this is a false belief, and unless we know3) that it is a false belief, we will remain in the dark of who we truly are and oblivious of what is possible in our lives.
When we believe that there is something wrong with us, we have an overpowering problem in a futile effort to prove to ourselves - as well as to other other people - that we really are OK, worthy and that we have what it takes to be successful in life. Unless we become aware of and choose to change this false belief, any attempt to bring about change in our life's - regardless of what we are currently doing - will only leave a bitter taste. We, therefore, have to realize, understand and belief that no fix is necessary… because, we are NOT BROKEN, we are whole and…and uncontrollable inclination to either fix or repair the
- developing and
The egg is not less whole than the chick, which - in turn - isn't less whole that the chicken, they merely are in different cycles or stages of development and growth. Thus, we ain't when we feel unfulfilled, frustrated or less content in certain areas of our lives, we merely are at a point in our lives that either compel, call or appeal to us for greater self-fulfilment. We are whole, worthy and of course, we have what it takes. We have what it takes to learn, grow and develop on a…
- mental and
- spiritual level.
This is how we were created, it is our authentic beingness, it is in our DNA. We might be…
- unique and
- uncommon in many different ways…
BUT WHAT WE ARE NOT… is broken!
Different… unique… uncommon… for sure, but definitely NOT broken!
When we unconditionally cling to the self-empowerment initiative - launching from this belief - will inevitably and subtly force us to entered the dark side of self-actualization. Within this realm of self-actualization, we are unbalanced and all kinds and various combinations of psyche barriers, life traps and self-actualizing derailers will manifest, flourish and have free rain to our lives., any
We think, assume and believe that the answers and solutions, to all the problems that we currently experience, lie outside of ourselves. This view of life and the foundation of our current compels us to abandon and avoid or even despise our…
- inner wisdom,
- aspirations and
Instead, we go outside ourselves, for solutions and place all our trust and faith in the advice of others, especially specialists and professionals. We categorically accept and abide by, rather than our uncommon inner wisdom. We disregard our…
As a matter of fact, we fully surrender and give our power away to others and/or things around us. We eagerly take the necessary, needed and required steps for self-development and -growth, but we feel hollow inside, unfulfilled, empty, devoid of purpose and meaning. Because we have abandon our true selves, we aren't fully alive4), things become hard, is difficult and - generally - it doesn't work particularity well for us. We effectively disempower ourselves when we choose to follow someone else's or a predefined path in life and not our own. This disempowerment is a sure sign that we have entered into and are stuck in the dark side of self-actualization.
Another important - self-actualization dark side tell sign - is the absence or lack of self-fulfillment5). Any development and growth initiative, that no longer is directed by who and what we truly are and based on a belief that we are broken, becomes fixated and focused on the needed or required “FIX”… the endpoint, the goal the pre-defined norm, the prescribed expectation. We eagerly strive towards reaching that endpoint because then we will experience - or so we falsely conclude - satisfaction and fulfilment, depriving ourselves of experiencing the satisfaction in the here and now. And because of the false conclusion, we tend to compare, judge and criticize ourselves every step of the way - often unfavourably I might add - in terms of the end goal that we haven't reached yet.
When we deeply and unconditionally believe that - inherently - there is something wrong with us, we will continue to create the experiences that will re-enforce what we belief. It is depleting, diminishing, place us on a path of derailment & stagnation and a self-fulfilling life path of development & growth, merely becomes an 'wishful-thinking' and 'out-of-reach' illusion.
But there is another way.
Remaining stuck on the dark side of self-actualization - as things normally develop - is a matter of personal choice and cannot be blamed on any events, circumstances, other people and/or situations. External influences can promote, facilitate, complicate or cloud self-actualization, but cannot block it. The only real block is our belief in and our willingness to strive for the best that we can be.
KEEP IN MIND: The self-actualization path that each of us follow in life, is totally unique and completely different from one another.
This doesn't mean that we cannot learn from other people… of course we can… especially those that have already succeeded where we would like to succeed. We thrive when we connect and can share knowledge, experiences and wisdom. But there is one crucial difference between…
- learning from and
- surrendering our power to another person's formula for success.
The first source from a balanced sense of self-worth, and the second originate from a sense of lack and a subtle “not-being-good-enough” conviction. We disempower ourselves when we judge, perceive and regard ourselves as lacking and this self-created enslaving mindset is serving others much better than it serves us.
Therefore, rather than asking yourself 'What do I need to fix?' …pause & reflect… and ask yourself…
- What do I need/want to create?
- What do I need/want to experience?
- How do I need/want to grow?
When we are growth, instead of goal oriented, we do experience and fulfilment every step of the way, because we are gradually and steadily transforming into our unique magnificence. While taking each growth step, we must be guided by our inner sense of what is right and what isn't right for us. We should listen to our inner voice, always telling us what we need …and… we must continue to listen because we have what it takes to succeed and we already are what it takes. Just keep in mind that… We cannot get a plant to grow any faster by pulling on its leaves!
What happen to the bright side when we step into the dark side of self-actualization?
We trigger the overpowering Dark Side Traits that tend to take over and overshadow the Bright Side Traits by far, because things goes out of whack and we lose our inner self foothold in life! There are many dark side traits that either derail or prevent optimal self-actualization. These traits are very specific and unique to each individual, however, the dark side of the following attributes - to a greater or lesser extent - surfaces almost always when a person fails to self-actualize optimally, thus to create who s/he really and truly is.